Just another goodbye

As the hours fly
the anxiety builds
the little time you have together
reminds you that it's nearing the end
of another chapter
in the story of your life
It's curtain call
and you take a bow
before you gracefully exit
with just memories and pictures left behind
that you know you will always hold dear

You are left wondering
why you befriend them
why you cared
and why you loved
with all your heart
and maybe a bit of your soul
why you left yourself
open to that pain
and knowledge that life
will never be the same

Then u think
then u ponder
remember the good times
remember the cheer
remember the friends you made
and the ones who said goodbye
realize that they are the ones
you will cherish for the rest of your life

You smile, you believe,
this isn't the end
just another goodbye
to one part of life
you shared together
hope it's a start to a friendship
that'll be with you till the end
not of an experience
or a phase of your life
but till the end of this journey
your time alive
in this life

Once again

It's been ages since I have tried to write something. I started this blog in 2006, It was on the insistence of one of my really good friends. I never wrote much. Just couldn't get myself to come up with something good enough to put up for others to read.

The past few days have been difficult. Work pressure has led me to rediscover the attitude that most people have towards work and how they get things done. Somehow, it took me back to the books that I read that defined my work ethics. Been trying to read Atlas shrugged again the last week. It scares me to pick up that book again as I know that if i do it will really mess up with my mind. But, sometimes I think it is important to remember the things that meant something to you.

I think I have to agree with Balachandhran's comment. He says, "When we are in those formative years, we have dreams but have not seen the world. So we tend to be idealistic and immediately jump at the idealistic outlook of the Ayn Rand characters. But when most people get into corporate life, they realize that ideals don't pay - end of story."

I know I still believe the things I used to... but I'm not really sure if I still live by them. I think that is what scares me most about going back and reading those books. I'm not sure if I would be comfortable with how I have chosen to live my life. I have tried my best, but you always end up feeling that you should have done better.

Getting back to those books meant getting back to this blog. To relive some of the things that were my fondest memories while growing up. Beautiful books, talented and amazing friends and the hope that the words you choose to put out there are understood by a like minded person.

Not sure if I will start writing again, but this one post goes out to my one friend who is about to embark on a new journey, a new chapter in his life. We may not be friends anymore, we may barely think of each other, but I hope and pray with all my heart that you get the very best of all that life has to offer. May your friends and loved ones always cherish you and keep you happy knowing that you deserve nothing but the best.

Live long and Prosper!

Words that make a difference.

Words have always played an important role in my life. From books to dialogues in movies, to things that people say aloud, if you can learn to look beyond the obvious and understand the profound, you would find many answers staring at you in the face. Most of us take everything that’s said or written at face value. Very rarely do we stop to psychoanalyze why a certain sentence was uttered or what was it that made a certain author write the things he has.

Yet most of us have been influenced in more ways than one by the things that we read. Good authors have the power to make you spend hours together pondering over the words they write. Words that make you question preconceived notions and beliefs. Or words that force you to think along lines you never knew existed. Either ways these are the words that will change your life. And that is what Ayn’s writings mean to me.

Most people I know who like her writing fall in two categories. One, who like her ideas cause they are radical, something they would never have been able to think up of. The other are the ones who have heard she’s good, and hence believe that its in vogue to rave about her work.

To me, Ayn Rand is my counselor and guide. During the formative years of my life, the things that disturbed me the most was that everything I genuinely believed and lived by, was something that was questioned by the world at large. Ayn’s writing gave me the strength to fight for what I believed in. They gave me a sanction to question, to understand and to form my own beliefs. She helped me put in words the creed that I had started living by. Hence no matter whether I write or not, my posts will always keep appearing with her words. The words that changed my life.

Thought for the day:
"To acheive you need thought. You have to know what you are doing and that's real power"
Ayn Rand in Atlas Shrugged

Morality

"Morality is the judgement to distinguish right and wrong, vision to see the truth, courage to act upon it, dedication to that which is good, integrity to stand by the good at any price."

-Ayn Rand in Atlas Shrugged.

Things that make me write.

I am not a writer. I do not aim to inspire or move others by my writing. What I write is usually a monologue I have with myself. One of the main reasons I write is because, writing helps me get my thoughts in order. Usually there’s so much going on in my mind that I find it difficult to understand what exactly I am thinking about. Writing is my way of organizing myself, concentrating on a topic at hand without digressing and reaching a conclusion.

More often than not I end up writing when I’m sad, lonely or depressed. Hopefully, I always try not to let that reflect in my writing. When I write, there is no pretense. What I feel is what comes out clear and strong. And this is one of the main reasons I do not blog frequently. I feel vulnerable opening my deepest feelings in public. I know this sounds funny considering the fact that I only have like 5 posts put up. But this is probably the most honest post I’ve put up till date. (Consider this a justification to all my friends and readers, about why I refuse to write).

Till date I was under the impression that the only people who read the stuff I wrote, was my dear friend and advisor, Mr. Pinto and me. Today I had the good fortune to find out that there are other people too in the world outside who seem to take an interest in what I have to say. Needless to say (for today at best) I’m motivated enough to at least put up one more post.

Cigarettes

"I like cigarettes. I like to think of fire held in a man's hand. Fire, a dangerous force, tamed at his fingertips. I often wonder about the hours when a man sits alone, watching the smoke of a cigarette, thinking. I wonder what great things have come from such hours.

When a man thinks, there is a spot of fire alive in his mind and it is proper that he should have the burning point of a cigarette as his one expression."

- Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand.

Of older brothers and younger sisters…

My cousin brother (not much more than a year older than me) happened to be visiting my family yesterday. I love this guy. He’s smart, intelligent, and ambitious, focused, completed his studies and now landed a great job (just bought himself a thunderbird). To add to the list, he’s charming (in a weird sort of way), great talker (translates as good with girls), has his own fan following and knows how to blow his money and have a good time. In short I’m quite proud to be his younger (cousin) sister. Pity is that he is considered quite the odd one out in our “sober” family.

Now as life would have it, I have a younger sister (8 years age difference between us). And having lived with her all her life (16 crazy years), I have always wished I had an older sibling, preferably a brother, who would stand up for me and would pamper me and spoil me. But a day spent with my older cousin sure made me evaluate my ideas.

Brothers have this inherent way of being over protective about their little sisters. I’m not saying that this is wrong, but when you are used to living your own life and making your own decisions, sometimes it gets a little frustrating when you have to deal with others deciding what is the best thing for you and how everything that you are now doing seems like a mistake. Add to this the whole ‘male’ point of view, and you just wish you could clobber him on the head and remind him that life on this planet is not the same for both the sexes. Anyways I still love my bro a lot, but a day I spent with him has made me more thankful for my little sister.

Even though me and my sis are as different as chalk and cheese, and we spend more than 80% of our time together pulling each others hair out and researching new techniques to getting the other into trouble, one thing that stays constant is how much she means to me. My sister is my rock. No matter whether she agrees with the things I do or not, I know that she’ll always be my best friend and my life jacket in the deepest sea. As much as she has her own individual opinions (and some objections) about the way I live my life, she has the understanding to let me live my own life.